Monday, September 2, 2013

Healing the child within

IThrough just a few unschooling experiences I am seeing how the way my husband and I were raised affects our choices and reactions today. We all know this but I feel more aware now as we make conscious efforts to drastically change the way we interact with our children. Doing better helps heal those pains we live with. The ones we have pushed so far down that we didn't remember they were even there. I struggle with my codependency and general people pleasing that comes from my less than ideal childhood. At 28 years old I am still fighting that idea that we must completely "obey" our parents no matter what. As I said, I like to please and I see how my children like to please. It's natural to want to please the people we love. Unfortunately sometimes even parents make mistakes and make choices that aren't in a child's best interest. Why don't I feel confident enough to speak up when something isn't in my best interest?? This helps me realize yet again why I have taken this journey. I know my children know what they need even better than I do sometimes and I want them to feel confident as children, and someday as adults, to express those needs and desires. 

May we all strive to listen more and stop thinking that our role as parents is to be know-it-all dictators. 

Derek, napping in a raft floating in our pool